One Great Foster Family

A person reading my entry “One Child’s Horror” earlier today wrote and asked a number questions about the foster family I stayed with for over 4 1/2 years. Her questions has led me to this entry.
This blog entry is dedicated to Mom and Dad Monshor, who provided me the only positive, loving experience of my [...]

One Child’s Horror

      Could you survive such emotional, psychological or physical traumas?
      You go through childhood barely remembering what your mother smelled like. Since you never knew your mother, you’re moved from home to home 16 times by the age of 19 feeling you had about a hundred mothers.
      In the process of being moved all over [...]

We CANNOT Afford not to Care

There are over a 500,000 children in the foster care system in the United States today, with about 123,000 available for adoption. The majority of them are over the age of four years old. Children are more likely to be adopted if they are under the age of four. The more time children spend in [...]

The Government and WE are Responsible

With ALL the problems in our nation’s foster-care system, nothing short of a major overhaul would serve as a lasting solution to this national disgrace. For years, children have been sentenced to navigate the system have been promised refuge from abuse and neglect in their own homes. However, without the state/county agencies being held accountable [...]

Why I Continue to Care about Foster Care

Many have said or asked in the past few years: The days within the system for me are long past. Today it is someone else’s problem. Why do I continue to care about what happens in the foster care system today?
Though some changes have been made to the system, it is still pretty much the [...]

Final Letter to My Birth Mother

Prelude to the letter…what generated it:
Our relationship over the years following the initial meeting was strained at best. We had never developed a mother/son relationship. Of course, I had not expected that, since at 36 I did not need a mother to raise me.
The relationship we had developed would be destroyed Christmas night 1998.
I had [...]

A Search Guide for Birth Parents/Adoptees/Foster Youth

I created this special tips blog for adult adoptees, birth parents and some foster children, as I am a strong proponent of “open records.” I believe every person has a birth- given right to know who they are and where they and their ancestors come from.
If states will not pass open records laws for adult [...]

Was Search for Birth Family Worth It?

Having done a successful search for my birth family, but a not so positive reunion…I still say the journey was worth it!
I began my journey years ago after suffering a heart attack at age thirty-one and having to answer the embarrassing question from the doctors about family medical history with a, “I don’t know.”
I was [...]

Why Search for Birth Family?

Why search? Why not leave the past alone? What do you hope to gain from your search? These were just a few of the questions asked of me during the course of my search.
Most questions came from people who were raised by their birth parents. They knew their heritage. They had extended family to share [...]

First Letter to Birth Mother~

Baby Larry at 3 days old…taken at hospital nursery to be placed in the “Babies Available for Adoption Book.
A letter I wrote to prepare to send to my birth mother if I found her. It was not necessary to send as I found her and we connected via a telephone call.
Dear Mother~
 It was a decision [...]

Questions for My Birth Mother

This was written from the time I began searching for my birth mother until her death…a period of over 20 years.
 Did you know what it was you gave away?  What was it
to you?  Was it a mistake perhaps that could be erased
by a simple act of false generosity. 
Was it easy for you or did you [...]

When, When, When?

This is a question I painfully lament almost everyday.
When are the “so called experts” going to wake up to the fact that, they in their supposed infinite wisdom, DO NOT have all the answers? Neither are they knowledgeable of all the questions.
Today’s, as in the past, child welfare system is run by those who feel [...]

Who Are Foster Parents?

I believe I am quite qualified to answer the above question. I was raised within the foster care system of Michigan from birth until I aged out. By the age of eleven I had been placed with eight different foster families, one family I was placed with three different times. Though I have very few [...]

Do You Wonder?

Written while searching for my birth mother from 1982-1986. She was found, we reunited for a time. She passed away in 2001.
 
When you wake up in the morning, do you wonder where I am?
 
When you pour a cup of coffee, do you wonder if I like mine with cream?
When you step into the shower, do [...]

Maybe

This was written one night after a person challenged why I was searching for my birth family at the age of thirty-two having never been raised by them.
 
So this is what I know. I was given away when I was born. That’s the cold hard truth. Call it relinquished if you’d rather, but the facts [...]

Reflections of a Foster Youth

Over the past several years many have asked me: “What
was it like being a foster child?” “What was the
impact on me having been a foster child for my entire
youth?” “How did I overcome the many obstacles placed
in my path due to having been a foster child?” “What
advise would I give to children within today’s foster
care [...]