60 Years Ago Today!!

Sixty years ago today, in the early hours of
the morning, a young nineteen year old unwed woman
gave birth to her first child…a son.

She spent most of her pregnancy in a home for unwed
mothers as her father would not, as he said, allow a
bastard child in his house.

She was uneducated and unable to provide even the
basic needs for her newborn son.

She did what she thought would be best for
him…because she loved him. She placed him lovingly
for adoption within hours after his birth.

She would not learn for thirty-six years that her
hopes and dreams of a loving home for her son never
happened.

The son instead spent the first year of life in a
hospital nursery and also the nursery of the same home
for unwed mothers his mother had spent her pregnancy.

Despite being a white, blond, hazel eye, healthy
baby…no one came forward to adopt him.

Those first days in a nursery turned out to be
eighteen years of being moved from one foster home to
another or institution…fourteen moves in all.

During those years he would attend many schools, never
have long time friends. He at a time would find his
bed on a back porch and be forced to steal food from
other children at school to dampen his hunger pains
from being fed only one meal a day. He would face the
horror of sexual abuse at the tender age of ten. He would
feel he was worthless and attempt to end his pain
and life before age 11.

Somehow, with the help of a few mentors, hope and a
deep inner faith this baby boy was able to overcome
the years of his childhood. He received a college
education and began a professional career.

At age of thirty-one he suffered a massive heart
attack. He could not answer the doctor’s question of;
“What’s your family medical history?” He was
embarrassed and ashamed for as far as he knew…he had
no family to call his own.

He began a search for the person who he thought would
be able to provide some answers…the mother who
lovingly relinquished him thirty-two years earlier.

The search took four long years. It was a painful,
trying and at times a frustrating journey as he met
numerous obstacles along the way.

He remembers vividly the message left on his answering
machine on April 17, 1986…”This is your mother!”
They would speak a few hours later…a phone call that
would last for hours. His spine still tingles and eyes
tear up as he remembers that day now nineteen years
later.

He met his mother not many months later. It
unfortunately was just the beginning to what turned
out to be a very strained relationship at best. He,
however, had his questions answered.

That relationship ended tragically a mere twelve years
later. His mother, on her own accord this time,
rejected her son and wished him dead as she could not
bear learning her son…her first born…was gay.

Despite several attempts at reconciliation by the son;
mother and son were never to speak or see each other
again in her lifetime. She passed away just shy of
three years after turning her son away.

The son, after time, was able to forgive his mother
and to thank her for not only giving him life but
making the decision she did on the day of his birth.
Despite how his childhood was; it had been the correct
decision.

He also was able to search, find and meet his father
once. His father did not wish for a relationship and
his father passed away four years after he found him.

His half siblings, from both his mother and father’s
side, except one rejected him as their brother. The
one remaining sibling also rejected him after their
mother’s death.

The one foster family whom he considered to be Mom and
Dad, even after he was on his own, are both long
passed away.

So today is this person’s sixtieth birthday.
What should be a joyous occasion remains a painful day
as it always has been. It brings forth those memories
of a childhood he cares not to remember. Acceptance by
his new found mother as well as the rejection.

He has in recent years found and met extended family.
They have welcomed him with open and loving arms.

He will receive well wishes from friends, extended
family and others. However, in many ways he will still
feel alone. There will never be birthday wishes from a
mother, father, brothers or sisters…and his heart
breaks.

Despite those painful memories he moves forward. The
hope and faith that sustained him through these
sixty years continues to sustain him.

Yes, today is that son’s birthday. I quietly wish
him a Happy Birthday, though it may not be.

I know each detail of this person’s life…because I
am that son born sixty years ago.

Yes, today I am sixty! The wounds of the
passed have in many cases healed, however, there are
many that just scabbed over waiting to be broken open
anew…they will never heal.

I however once again…thank my mother and father for
this beautiful gift called life!

What the U.S.A. Should Do About Haiti Earthquake Orphans

I have in the past few days been sharing stories found on the Internet about babies/children being orphaned due to the tragic earthquake on January 12th.

Serving on the Board of Directors & as Regional Manager for North America on behalf of World Initiative for Orphans I feel I must write my personal feelings on this subject and potential solutions to the crisis.

I am happy our government responded to the 200-300 orphans who already had adoptive families awaiting them in the United States. The State Department is allowing these adoptees to come into the U.S. even with the necessary paperwork being lost due to the earthquake. The Netherlands has also responded to this crisis flying 100 children to their country in the same fashion.

However this is just a drop in the bucket. Even prior to the earthquake their were thousands of babies/children living in orphanages  throughout Haiti or even just living on the streets doing whatever was necessary to survive.

Though Americans should be proud of the actions of our government and ourselves for by our response to the overall crisis caused by the earthquake; providing financial aid, supplies, troops for security, etc as well as some response to the orphan crisis…we can and MUST do more!

Before the earthquake about 800 to 900 U.S. families are in the process of adopting children from Haiti, said Tom DiFilipo, president of the Joint Council on International Children’s Services though their adoptions have not yet been finalized…these adoptions need to be expedited and the children moved safely and quickly to the United States. 

Before the earthquake, Haiti was home to about 380,000 orphans, according to the most recent data from the United Nations Children’s Fund.

At this point of the crisis it is not known how many new orphans have resulted from the earthquake. We know the United Nations estimates 2000,000 people have died as a result of the quake. How many were adults leaving behind babies/children we do not know. We also do not know how many babies/children have just been separated from their families as a result of the quake.

As our government moves along in this crisis it is important that orphans and those babies/children just separated from their families are handled in a totally different manner. The government cannot allow themselves to later be targeted as taking babies/children from their families and placing for adoption because they did not do the necessary investigations. The government needs to move quickly but not too quickly.

My solution ideas to this crisis are as follows:

Janet Napolitano, Secretary of Homeland Security, can allow otherwise inadmissible people into the country for urgent humanitarian reasons or other emergencies The U.S. State Department also has the authority to reduce much of the unnecessary red tape involving international adoptions & the obtaining of necessary visas to enter the United States.

Therefore:

ADOPTION 

Secretary Clinton & Napolitano should immediately create a Task Force whose responsibility should be strictly to expedite adoptions of orphans from Haiti as well as expedite visas. This should be done working together with the government of Haiti and local orphanages.

The Task Force must ensure that each baby/child to be potentially placed for adoption in the USA should definitely be orphans and no family can be found in Haiti who will take responsibility for them.

The Task Force must work with established adoption agencies to ensure those saying they are adoption agencies are in fact as such and not a scam.

The Task Force should establish reasonable fees for processing , immediate home studies, necessary paperwork and potential legal fees. These established fees should be only to cover the above at reasonable costs and not for profit for the agencies. Agencies should be allowed to profit from this tragedy but their expenses should be covered.

If a potential family is shown to be able to financially support a baby/child after adoption but is unable to pay upfront necessary fees a payment plan for such should be established or possibly have the government should waive the fees to the potential family and cover them to the agency.

The Task Force should also work with other governments of developed countries to also play a role in providing safe homes for orphans within their country.

The establishment of this Task Force should be immediate and work on this crisis should begin without further delay.

FOSTER CARE:

I have read that we are considering placing folks from Haiti at Qauntanimo for temporary housing.

If babies/children go there who cannot be verified as orphans and they have no family to care for them they should be placed in a separate section to ensure they can not be preyed upon by sexual or physical predators to ensure their safety. It would be tragic for them to go from one tragedy to another caused by our government’s action.

A camp type setting or institutional setting has shown not to be the best setting for a child. Therefore the government should look to potential foster care families in the USA mainland to care for babies/children that are not orphans.

In both adoption & foster care accurate records must be ensured by the Task Force. This is especially ture for babies/children that may be placed in a foster home and may return to Haiti if family is found there to care for them.
I have received many comments to my previous blog entries on this subject from folks interested in adopting, providing foster care and asking what they can do.

Write your Senator, Congress person, Secretary Clinton & Secretary Napolitano about the subject and the need for our government to act and to act fast!

Also you should remember that there are over 129,000 youth within our own foster care system who are awaiting adoption. There is also a need in all the states for good foster parents.

I hope this gives at least a few ideas as to how we as a people and government can help the orphans of Haiti caused by the recent earthquake.

Remember: NO child should be allowed to grow up without the love, nurturing, caring of a family!

Orphans from Haiti arrive in U.S.

January 19, 2010 5:38 p.m. EST

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (CNN) — More than 50 Haitian children — rescued from an orphanage damaged by last week’s earthquake –arrived Tuesday in Pennsylvania, most of them headed eventually to adoptive homes.

Gov. Edward Rendell, who traveled to Haiti to accompany the orphans back to his state, said the 53 children from the Bresma Orphanage in the Haitian capital of Port-au-Prince were flown to Florida on an Air Force C-17 transport plane. The group was then transferred to another plane to fly to Pittsburgh International Airport, he said at a news conference at the airport.

Another child is to arrive in Pittsburgh late Tuesday or Wednesday, Rendell said. Ali McMutrie, a Pittsburgh-area woman who ran the orphanage with her sister, Jamie, said her sister will accompany the 54th orphan.

“The children are incredible. They’re doing so great. I was more upset at the airplane ride than any of them,” said McMutrie, who also was at the briefing.

Most of the children’s adoption cases were at the end of the bureaucratic process before the 7.0-magnitude earthquake struck.

Search for loved ones, see who’s found

According to Rendell, adoption cases are under way for 47 of the children. Of these, 40 will be U.S. adoptions, four children will go to Spain and three to Canada. Adoptive parents will be sought for the remaining seven children.

The orphans almost stayed in Haiti.

Rep. Jason Altmire, D-Pennsylvania, who was traveling with the group, said it had been understood that all the children were cleared to leave. However, 14 of them had no papers because they were destroyed in the quake, and the U.S. Embassy said they couldn’t leave the country, Altmire said.

“We were frantically calling the State Department, the White House and everyone else” to get the clearance, he said.

In addition, the McMutrie sisters, who live in Altmire’s congressional district, refused to allow just a portion of the children to leave, Altmire said.

“So now, everything is up in the air. You’re just arguing about paperwork,” the congressman said.

Finally, with intervention from several agencies and the White House, the embassy approved humanitarian waivers, or paroles, for the 14 children.

“All of a sudden, after four or five hours of struggle, we got the go that all 54 orphans could come to the U.S.,” Rendell said.

By then, the plane that was to take everyone to the United States had left. The military and embassy arranged for them to fly in a military cargo plane.

Altmire said that despite their trauma, the children adjusted well to the flight.

“They were polite and either slept or were quiet or just played among themselves,” he said.

“We are all grateful the kids are here and safe, but this was a very unusual situation,” an Obama administration official, who did not want to be identified, told CNN.

“We will continue to grant, in special cases, humanitarian parole for orphans and medical evacuees, but our position is clear that people from Haiti attempting to enter the country illegally will be repatriated.”

The children were taken by bus to Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh.

Allegheny County spokesman Kevin Evanto told CNN that the children will be placed in foster homes until details of their adoptions are finalized.

On Monday, the U.S. government said it had eased the requirements for orphaned children from Haiti to enter the United States on a temporary basis.

In a separate statement, the State Department said Monday it is working with the Department of Homeland Security and the Haitian government to process nearly 300 cases of Americans who are waiting to adopt Haitian children. Of those, 200 cases are being accelerated.

At least 24 of those children have left Haiti and have joined their adoptive families since the embassy expedited processing for immigrant visas, said Michele Bond, deputy assistant secretary for American citizen services.

Janet Napolitano, secretary of homeland security, can allow otherwise inadmissible people into the country for urgent humanitarian reasons or other emergencies.

Before the earthquake, Haiti was home to about 380,000 orphans, according to the most recent data from the United Nations Children’s Fund.

Rendell’s plane flew into Haiti on Monday with a shipment of medical aid and several doctors. It arrived after aid organizations had complained that their planes bound for Port-au-Prince had been delayed.

The agency Doctors Without Borders says several of its flights were delayed or diverted for long spells, including a plane carrying supplies for an inflatable hospital. That plane could not land in Port-au-Prince on Saturday and instead was rerouted to the neighboring Dominican Republic, it said. Another medical supply flight was diverted to the Dominican Republic on Sunday, causing a 24-hour delay in delivering aid that had to be transported by truck as a result, the group said.

U.S. officials have attributed the delays to a crowded apron at Port-au-Prince’s small airport, but say traffic conditions have considerably improved.

The airport handled 180 flights Monday, none of which were delayed, Lt. Gen. P. K. Keen told CNN. One Doctors Without Borders flight was unable to land over the weekend, he said, because another aircraft’s departure was delayed. Instead of circling and burning fuel, the plane landed in the Dominican Republic, he said.

“And clearly, we wanted that field hospital on the tarmac,” Keen said. “But beyond landing them on the main runway and shutting down the entire airport for a couple of hours, there weren’t many options because of the design of the airfield.”

Keen added that planes turned back “a number of times” and “quite a bit” in the first few days after the quake. While the field manages more than 100 flights a day now, before the quake, it handled slightly more than a dozen a day, he said.

CNN’s Gary Tuchman, Adam Levine and Mary Snow contributed to this report.

NOTE: I am making phone calls to see what is being considered by State Dept. about bringing children, whether orphans or not, temporarily to the USA until Haiti is more stable…so far the issue has not been addressed though it can be done according to DHS for humanitarian reasons..we shall see. Will keep you advised.

Prayers Answered:Haitian orphans rushed to new homes abroad!

I had to jump for joy and shout Yes, Yes, Yes when I read this and had to share it. Hopefully this is just the beginning.

From CNN January 17, 2010 8:02 p.m. EST

Port-au-Prince, Haiti (CNN) — Slashing red tape or ignoring ordinarily required paperwork, officials in the United States and the Netherlands have cleared the way for scores of Haitian orphans to leave their earthquake-ravaged homeland, according to officials from the two countries.

All of the children had adoptions pending with prospective parents in the two countries before Tuesday’s 7.0-magnitude quake, and government officials said paperwork was expedited or put on hold to make transfers happen on an emergency basis.

300 children have pending adoption cases with American families. Six children arrived in Florida Sunday night, met by their adoptive parents with hugs and tears of happiness.

The Dutch Ministry of Foreign Affairs has chartered a plane to pick up about 100 children Monday, spokesman Aad Meijer told CNN.

Dutch Justice Minister Ernst Hirsch Ballin over the weekend granted the children entry into the country, although their paperwork, including travel and adoption documents, was incomplete, Justice Ministry spokesman Patrick Mikkelsen told CNN.

About 44 of the orphans’ adoptions had yet to be approved by a Haitian judge, even though they were matched to Dutch parents, Mikkelsen said. Dutch officials may seek the remaining approvals from Haiti once the children have already settled in the Netherlands, he added.

Haiti is home to about 380,000 orphans, according to the United Nations Children’s Fund, and that number is expected to grow in the wake of Tuesday’s earthquake. And those who lived in orphanages before Tuesday may be homeless now, as reports of destroyed orphanages have come throughout the quake zone.

Some children who lost parents in the quake or were separated from parents are being relocated to the Dominican Republic, a child advocacy group said.

About 50 orphaned and abandoned children will arrive in the border town of Jimani on Wednesday, Kids Alive International said. The efforts, coordinated with the governments of both countries, will eventually take the children back to Haiti. Some will be reunited with parents who lost communication with their children in the quake’s aftermath, the group said.

 

Children, A Tragedy of the Haitian Earthquake

Adopted Haitian kids were almost home when quake hit

By Jessica Ravitz, CNN
January 15, 2010

If he could, Jim Boston would hop on a plane right now to bring his daughter, Farica, home.

The 4-year-old Haitian girl has been part of his family since the day he and his wife, Rebecca, began the adoption process — and multiple trips to visit her — more than two years ago.

She has the passport that will allow her to leave. She shares the Boston name with her parents and five siblings, including another Haitian girl. She was just weeks from leaving the Port-au-Prince orphanage where she’s lived her whole short life.

The only thing that was keeping her from flying off to Chicago, Illinois, with her parents: the visa to let her into the United States. And that was set to come by month’s end.

“We were two or three weeks away from going there to get her,” Boston said Thursday. “We’re so afraid. We expect rioting to happen soon. What little food they have is in jeopardy. … We’re trying to appeal for help in getting these children special status.”

Looking out for Farica in the interim, while adoption proceedings stand frozen, are two sisters from the Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, area. Jaime and Ali McMutrie, 30 and 21 respectively, run one of the houses at the Brebis de Saint-Michel de L’Attalaye (BRESMA) orphanage in Port-au-Prince.

In frantic messages they sent from a borrowed BlackBerry nearly 24 hours after the earthquake, the sisters shared the good news that all of the children in their care were alive. But they pleaded for urgent assistance. They and the children were living in the yard without food or water. They worried that babies would die from contaminated water.

“I want to make sûre évryoné ùnderstands we cant stay inhaiti and thé kids will not live if théy stay,” Jamie typed in a rush.

Jamie’s husband, Doug Heckman, said his wife and sister-in-law help oversee the care of 26 children, many of them little ones or those who’ve needed special care, including Farica Boston, who arrived sick when she came to the orphanage right after she was born.

According to UNICEF, there were an estimated 380,000 orphans in Haiti in 2007, a number that’s bound to change as the death toll from the earthquake rises.

About 800 to 900 U.S. families are in the process of adopting children from Haiti, said Tom DiFilipo, president of the Joint Council on International Children’s Services, an advocacy group for children in need of families. Of those, only about 30 kids are as far along in the process as Farica Boston, he said .

Because documentation in Haiti may be buried beneath rubble, the organization Friday morning launched a database to collect information on where the adoption process of each family stands. Adoptive parents are encouraged to enter information in the registry on the JCICS Web site.

A memo issued by the U.S. State Department on Thursday served as a reminder of how complicated helping children affected by natural disasters can be.

While concerned Americans may offer to open their homes to suffering kids (beyond those already in orphanages), the department said determining who is truly orphaned — and not just separated from family members — can be a huge challenge. Likewise gathering the documentation needed to legally fulfill adoption requirements can be next to impossible.

BRESMA, which is home to about 150 children, is one of the country’s 67 crèches, orphanages that are licensed to perform adoptions, said Diana Boni, the Haiti and Liberia programs coordinator for Kentucky Adoption Services, who’s worked with BRESMA for seven years.

“We’ve been incredibly blessed. We have no fatalities and no serious injuries as of yesterday afternoon,” Boni said Thursday. “Almost all of them have [adoptive] families. A lot of these kids under Haitian law are not Haitian. They’re legally children of U.S. citizens … and children are going to die because of bureaucratic paper delays.”

Grass-root efforts are under way to help.

A Pittsburgh blogger, Virginia Montanez, is sharing updates on BRESMA on her blog, “That’s Church.” One Facebook page, “Let’s Help Them Get Out of Haiti,” encourages people to sign petitions to help the group. Lawmakers in Pennsylvania have reached out too, saying they’re determined to help.

Children are going to die because of bureaucratic paper delays.

–Diana Boni, Kentucky Adoption Services
 
But while concerned citizens, families and adoption agencies try to make sense of what’s going on and what’s possible, false information and misunderstandings are circulating. Some parents spoke about a special meeting (not true) planned at the State Department on Friday morning to discuss their children. And at least one agency has been putting out word that 150 kids were going to be airlifted from BRESMA to Pittsburgh.

“That’s a very popular rumor,” Boni said, hoping to put it to rest. “The State Department has issued zero visas since this earthquake.”

While the State Department does issue visas, DiFilipo of the Joint Council on International Children’s Services reiterated that the Department of Homeland Security must approve the visas beforehand. He said he’s been in touch with both departments.

“We’re not just working on kids with finalized adoptions. We’re trying to find solutions for all those children,” he said. “We don’t want people to forget the most vulnerable children — the orphaned.”

As officials work to find answers, Farica’s parents must hold onto hope that their prayers will be answered and their family made whole.

“I don’t know if she understands. She’s only 4,” Boston said. “If I could talk to her I would tell her I love her and that I’m doing everything I can to get her home.”

Hefty: The Official Luggage of Foster Care

A few hours ago I was visiting a forum about foster care that I participate.

One of the entries I read concluded with the signature above noting, “Hefty: The Official Luggage of Foster Care.”

This evokes very strong and bad memories for me of the years I spent in foster care.

I was in care from February 1950 until aging out in June 1968. During the course of these years I was moved 15 times; the final move was the aging out process.

Each of the moves, as far back as I have memory of, involved my worldly posessions being packed in a “plain brown paper grocery bag.” This was the means used back in my days in care.

I have very vivid memories of those moves and being told to , “go pack my things.” I didn’t have much and it wouldn’t take me long to pack; there was always room left empty in the bag. The amount in the bag is not the issue but rather the bag itself.

I know what it feels like to pack your belongings in a paper bag or the plastic garbage bags used for many years. I always felt degraded, humiliated, a second class citizen, feeling worthless, feeling that no one gave a damn are just a few of the feelings I experienced during those moves. The pain of those years remain to a degree today as whne I go to the grocery store I refuse to have items placed in the brown paper bags!

In the early 70’s the system, according to them, graduated to the large Hefty plastic “garbage” bags. These are still used in the majority of situations involving the move of foster children from home to home today.

How a child must feel knowing there posessions are considered only good enough to be thrown in “garbage” bags. Yes, this sure would help one gain self confidence and self worth…NOT!

Because this is an issue that still affects me today after aging out almost 42 years ago….I decided to do something about it in my local community. I began what I called, “Hope & Dignity Project.” Hope was for believing someone cares. Dignity was for having a dignified way of moving one’s worldly goods.

I called and organized organizations, students from schools, businesses and indiviuals in my first effort as well as succeeding ones.

In the first effort Funding was received to purchase 200, 30″ nylon duffel bags as youth prefer these over suitcases.

These bags will be able to hold a large quantity of personal property of youth entering care.

Funding was further received to purchase material to make “tie blankets” or buy “quilt blankets” to go into each of the bags. Based on the type and style of the blankets determined if each bag was for a young girl or boy or an older boy or girl and each bag was marked accordingly.

In each bag, in addition to the blanket, was packed with new soap, toothpaste/toothbrush, deodorant, comb or hairbrush, pencils, pens, a book, crayons, and coloring books for younger youth as well as stuffed animals (especially teddy bears) for younger children, notepads, lotions, mirrors for older girls as well as some costume jewelry which was received from a variety of donors including a collection conducted by the local high school.

I hope in some small way each youth will feel a sense of dignity and hope receiving the bags and realize someone cares about them.

Distribution was handled by the local social service office responsible for youth in care. The bags were dropped at their office so they could give one to each child entering care as the child is usually taken by the office before going to a foster home. They can arrive at the foster home with this duffel bag, their personal items & the items placed in each bag.

When I moved to my current home in North Dakota I began a similar program as I did back in Michigan. Unfortunately no state is immune from having children entering foster care.

Though it does take effort, you to can begin such a program in your community. You will not believe how this small effort will positively affect a youth going through the trauma of being removed from their family, neighbors and friends. Yes, you give that small degree of hope and dignity!

It would be fantastic if each community had someone to begin a project such as this as I fell no child should be made to feel as a child does entering care with their worldly posessions in a hefty garbage bag.

If you are interested and want to more on how to start such an effort and continue it…feel free to contact me via the comments section with your E mail address and I will contact you back.

Here is a link to an article that appeared in my local newspaper back in November 2008.

http://prairieguy.wordpress.com/2009/01/18/care-packages-replace-traditional-luggage/

Also here is an article that appeared in the Christmas 2009 edition of the Boys Town Alumni Newsletter:

 

Classified as “Unadoptable” as a Child…Man Gets New Parents!

Imagine going through life being told you are not worthy to be loved…you are “unadoptable” and left to be on your own!

I find the story below from CNN a happy ending story, however it is a shame that it took so long for it to happen…this man’s life to this point may have been different if someone had cared before now.

By Stephanie Chen, CNN

Mark Hauck and Tim Ferraro adopted a 23-year-old man in 2008

John, who changed his name to Sam Ferraro-Hauck, spent years in foster care

Adopting adults and older teens is becoming more popular

Individuals leaving the foster care system face higher rates of incarceration and homelessness

As far back as John could remember, he was on his own.

Like the 20,000 foster children who “age out’ of the system each year, John left California’s foster care system six years ago believing he had missed his chance to be part of a family.

But then something unexpected happened.

In spring of 2006, he met Mark Hauck and his partner, Tim Ferraro, a couple in their 40s. They were living next door to his former high school nurse, who had taken John, 21, into her home temporarily.

John was curious about the couple, particularly Mark who worked with high school drama programs. John enjoyed writing scripts in his spare time.

Maybe he could get some advice from Mark, he thought.

Neglected and abused

Growing up, John took care of himself.

By the age of 5, John says he fixed his own meals while his mother slept through the day. He began caring for his newborn sister, Ashley, shortly after his seventh birthday. The process became routine: Preparing the formula, pouring the milk into the bottle and feeding her tiny mouth. He changed the baby’s diapers, too.

He describes his mother as impulsive and unable to hold a steady job. His biological father disappeared before his birth.

Teachers noticed something was wrong. John’s maternal grandmother tried to intervene. California Children’s Services investigated.

Their inquiry included John’s background file, a thick stack of social worker reports, police documents and photographs. Authorities concluded John was a victim of neglect and physical and sexual abuse. When he was 16 months old, authorities reported bruises on his face. He had bite marks on his body when he was about 2 years old.

John recalls his goodbye with his mother. He was 7 when authorities whisked him away.

“I remember feeling freedom,” he said. “I remember walking out. I remember my mom saying not to go, and I returned to her and said ‘Sorry, I have to.’ “

His mother’s parental rights were later terminated, and John stopped talking to her in 2004.

By the time John reached high school in the foster care system, chances for adoption were slim. Only 7 percent of foster children 14 and older find a permanent home, according to a 2008 Department of Health and Human Services report. The state had already labeled John with attention deficit disorder, depression and behavioral issues.

His social worker wrote in his file that he was unadoptable.

Shortly after they met in the spring of 2006, Tim Ferraro offered John a job at his remodeling company. Tim knew John needed the cash since he was then renting his own apartment.

One afternoon when John’s shift ended, Tim and Mark invited John into their home for dinner.

John ate as they talked about politics and religion. “I channeled my paternal Sicilian grandmother in me,” Tim joked. “And I just kept asking him, ‘Are you hungry?’ “

Their friendship blossomed, and John became a frequent guest. Sometimes after dinner, they played board games or watched movies. John showed them his scripts and music.

To help the young man out, Tim and Mark donated extra groceries to John when they could. They hired him to complete odd jobs around the house.

The couple helped him with “adult tasks” that John hadn’t learned before such as tracking finances, résumé writing and answering job interview questions.

When John fell ill, they loaned him money for doctor visits. They knew the young man struggled with depression so they found a counselor for him.

Hearing adoption stories from teens

At the same time John became part of their life, the couple was looking to expand their family.

Mark Hauck and Tim Ferraro had always considered adoption during their 20-year relationship. Career goals and imperfect timing derailed them but they were determined to become parents.

The couple got serious about adopting in the summer of 2008. They completed an adoption training program required by the state of Minnesota.

They had preferred to adopt a child, but during one training session, Mark and Tim listened to the teens and young adults share their adoption stories. The teens talked about how a permanent home gave them the support and confidence to succeed.

At that moment, they realized John needed parents too.

Already friends with John for two years, they knew he was struggling. John was fired from his food service job in May 2008. His credit card debt grew to $50,000. John became anxious and depressed.

“He was really trying hard against odds that were stacked completely against him because he was unprepared to be on his own,” Mark said.

The couple says they wanted to adopt John because they believed John deserved a family

Because John was an adult, the couple knew the adoption process would be easier than adopting a child, a process saddled by home studies and heavy paperwork. Tim and Mark also knew some agencies would rule them out for adoption because of their age and sexual orientation.

But how do you ask a 23-year-old man to be your son?

That is the question that confronted Mark and Tim after they decided to propose the adoption to John. Adult adoption in the U.S. is rare — fewer than 200 adult adoptions for individuals between the ages of 18 and 20 in 2008, government studies report.

For weeks, the couple mulled over their decision to adopt John. They knew if they offered to become his parents, the act, in their minds, would be unchangeable.

Close friends asked the tough questions: Could they financially support John? What would happen if John got into trouble?

Not used to commitment

The evening of September 12, 2008, began as usual.

John arrived at Mark and Tim’s home for dinner. Their casual Friday night consisted of pizzas and Cokes, followed by several games of Rummy.

The soda shot out of John’s nose when Mark asked the question. He thought that maybe he hadn’t heard Mark correctly.

“We’d like you to be our son,” Mark offered. “We’ll leave it up to you to decide.”

But John didn’t have an answer. He asked for a few days to think about his decision. At first, John grew angry when he thought about their offer to adopt him.

“I don’t think I was used to the level of commitment they were offering,” John said. “An adoption can’t end.”

The permanency Mark and Tim promised was a striking contrast from his past. When John stirred trouble, the state moved him to another foster home. When he acted violently, the state punished him by sending him to residential treatment.

Several days later, John appeared at Mark and Tim’s door with his belongings. John decided he was tired of spending Christmas and birthdays alone. He realized, even as an adult, that he still needed parents to provide him advice — and compassion. He wanted a family of his own.

Shift in adoption trend

This month, Mark and Tim are celebrating their one-year anniversary with their 24-year-old son.

The adult adoption was finalized by a judge in December 2008, a relatively smooth process compared to adopting a child. The three adults signed the adoption paperwork in front of a judge.

“To us, Sam was simply our son,” Mark said. “It didn’t matter that we didn’t bring him home in a blanket.”

That month, John legally changed his name to Sam Ferraro-Hauck. The change would mark a fresh start.

Sam’s adoption story represents a shift in the adoption world over the last decade. Adopting older teens and young adults has become more popular, said Adam Pertman, executive director of the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute. The number of individuals between the ages of 14 and 20 adopted rose from about 2,000 in 1998 cases to more than 4,200 in 2000, according to the Department of Health and Human Services.

Experts say the federal government’s passage of the Fostering Connections to Success and Increasing Adoptions Act of 2008 has given funding incentives to states that promote older adoptions. The act extends foster care payment cutoff age from 18 to 21 years of age.

The Minnesota nonprofit Ampersand Families, where Mark now works, is one example of a growing number of nonprofits that help older teens and young adults secure permanent homes. This Christmas, the agency matched a 13-year-old foster child with a Minnesota family.

A Feel Good Story to Start Your Day!!!

I’ll let this story from my local newspaper today speak for itself…all I know is that it made me smile and brightened the start of my day.

The Fargo Forum
Published December 29 2009
Bob Lind: Kind gesture brightens lives of 11 foster kids

It wasn’t Muriel Lamp’s regular day to work at the Boutique Retreat, but the Fargo store’s owner had to be out of town and would have had to close up if she hadn’t, so she volunteered to take that extra day.

It was last Sept. 1, a day that become memorable for Muriel.

About 11 a.m. that day, a man walked in and told Muriel he wanted to buy 11 gifts, they had to be “sparkly jewelry,” and he would be willing to spend up to $60 for each.

Muriel laid out some pieces of beaded jewelry: bracelets, earrings, necklaces. Fine, the man said. Then he handed her a letter. “I was stunned,” she says.

The letter said he wanted the gifts to go to girls who were in foster care. He didn’t care who. It said he also planned to shop for boys.

“(I) believe I know what it is like to be in foster care and not have parents whatever the case may be,” the letter concluded, and it was signed “Anonymous.”

The man mentioned he was passing through Fargo and had been staying at the Holiday Inn. But that’s all he said about himself.

Muriel didn’t pump him for more information; she just said yes, she’d get the items delivered to the foster care people.

So the man watched, and approved, as she packaged each item in small mesh bags.

The bill, she told him, would be $671.29. Fine, he said, and he paid her – in cash, including some large bills.

“I thought they might be counterfeit,” an aghast Muriel said.

As the man left, Muriel told him he was one wonderful guy. He said in turn she was one wonderful gal, because she didn’t ask him a lot of questions.

Muriel took the gifts to Cass County Family Services, which distributed them to 11 teen girls in foster care.

A Family Services staff member said the items “were beautiful, all handmade; very nice gifts.”

Yes, this occurred several months ago. But it seems like a good story for this, the last Neighbors column of 2009, because it typifies the many positive things people out there are doing.

Muriel, of Fargo, says she’ll never forget that day; a day when she was supposed to be at home, but “happened” to be at work.

“I just think someone had me there for a purpose,” she says.

P.S. The bills with which the man paid for the gifts weren’t counterfeit.

Former Foster Youth Helps other Former Foster Youth for Holidays

Someone sent me this article on Tuesday and I felt it needed to be shared. It shows some of us who have survived the system and have gone on to make something of ourselves…never forget where we came from. This is just one example of how other foster foster youth can reach out to those still in care or have aged out to let them know others have been there done that and extend a hand to help.

I still remember the first holiday season after I aged out I was in college, a small one, and they closed the campus during the holiday break. Since I had nowhere to go and couldn’t spend the holidays on campus…I did what I had done during the summer between aging out and college opening in the fall; I spent it alone and on the streets praying I would survive the three weeks before campus opened once again.

If you take this time to read the story below…I hope you will reachout to someone who may find themselves with no family to share the holidays with! 

Former Lee County foster child helps for holiday
By JANINE ZEITLIN December 1, 2009

Mackenzie Ramsay has not spent Christmas at the same place since he aged out of foster care at 18.

Over the years, Ramsay, 23, has bounced to friends’ homes. He once grabbed some Chinese food with another ex-foster child.

“I recall my Christmases and the holiday season not being so joyful, more like on the depressing side,” he said. “… I’m not big on the holiday spirit, and that bothers me.”

This year, Ramsay, a Department of Children and Families processor who is also in Florida Gulf Coast University’s graduate social work program, is trying to organize an effort to enliven the holidays for former foster children.

He’d like to link 95 young adults who have aged out of foster care to people willing to donate household items or gift cards.
“If I could help out and get others to help out, it would make a difference in their lives and show them that there are people out there who still care.”

Erin Gillespie, a DCF spokeswoman working with Ramsay on the push, said child welfare officials eventually hope to plan a Christmas party with a tree and gift-giving time especially for young adults.

“We want to try to get them together,” she said. “Just to try to show them people care and they deserve Christmas just like anyone else.”
The state requires that children leave care at age 18, when many are still in high school. If they stay in school full time, they can receive a monthly stipend, on average from $1,130 to $1,256 that covers some living expenses.

“It’s not just they’re 18, they’re adults, they’ll be fine because it’s not like that,” Ramsay said.

At 18, Ramsay, then in Broward County, packed everything he owned in three trash bags and caught a bus to a friend’s home.

Taken from his parents as a baby, he’s been told little else other than that his mother was a drug addict.

He spent most of his life in state care and doesn’t know his birth family.
After staying in a few foster homes, he was adopted at age 4. His adoptive parents showed him papers reporting that abuse occurred in that time, but he couldn’t tell what or if it happened to him or other children.

Around 13 years old, he began running away, as he felt his parents favored other children in the home.

He recalls being grounded often in a locked room that had the windows screwed shut.

Their parental rights were terminated when he was 14, Ramsay said.
He returned to state care and stayed at a handful of group homes and foster homes. At 17, he dropped out of high school and earned his GED, the high school equivalence certificate.

Once he aged out, he spent more than a year couch-surfing and struggled without a support system.

His first two years included brushes with the law for stealing a puppy and fleeing law enforcers while he was out on bond.

At 20, Ramsay headed to a youth homeless shelter.

Through it, he knew he had to stay in school to get checks through the state. He wanted to succeed.

After moving to Fort Myers in 2007, he earned his bachelor’s degree in social work from FGCU.

“I know what these kids have gone through, and I know some of the injustices that they see,” he said.

The Children’s Home Society is inviting young adults to a party Thursday at Mike Greenwell’s Family Fun Park in Cape Coral, said Aimee McLaughlin, of the Children’s Network of Southwest Florida, which runs foster care locally.

But McLaughlin said mostly teens in care attend.

She said the network is providing two gifts at $20 apiece to about 45 young adults who have requested them and some of their children, but they’re in need of so much more.

“They don’t have a parent who gave them a care package,” she said. “At the holidays, presents are nice but these youth also need to make a home. It’s bringing on a whole new philosophy to home for the holidays.

Fargo/Moorhead Youth Fill the Dome Project Exceeds Goal!

My blog normally includes articles written by me or others I find on the Internet about foster care, thus the title of my blog.

However I am so proud of the youth here in my hometown community of Fargo, North Dakota/Moorhead, Minnasota that I just have to share this story beyond our area.

In the fall of 2007 a group of local high school seniors wanted to do something as a gift to their community. They wanted to collect non perishable foods and funds to be given to those less fortunate in our community. Each year since new seniors have continued the effort.

They did not think small but decided to issue a challenge to all the local schools.

Fargo has what we call the Fargodome. It is the site where North Dakota State University plays their home football games and where numerous big time stars have given concerts. The football floor contains 80,000 square feet.

The group decided their goal would be to fill the dome floor with food items. Thus began the FILL THE DOME PROJECT.

Since that first year (2007), though the foor did not get filled, they were able to raise over 60 tons of food and over $60,000 for their efforts for 2007/2008 combined.

This year the set their goals higher than what was reached in the first two years:

Goals for Fill the Dome 2009 include: 
Raise $75,000
Collect 75 tons of food
Engage 7,500 volunteers

Fifty-eight local schools and a few outside the local community were involved in this year’s effort. Each school would have a square on the dome floor to fill with non-perishables.

There is also a square designated for the community as a whole participate by dropping off items on the designated date or to purchase a food bag from Hornbackers ( a local grocery store gain ) which would be collected and taken to the dome on the given date.

Yesterday was the culmination of the 2009 effort. Schools each had a scheduled time to brings the results of ther collection drives as well as the food bags purchased by members of the community.

Early this morning, after boxing, weighing, and placing all the food on a number of trucks for distribution the results were announced:

97.1 tons of food that came in and out of the Fargodome.
$96,000 (and counting)
2311 food bages were purchased by community members at Hornbachers
(Yes I bought a couple)
Over 2,800 people who have signed their name, acknowledging hunger is an issue in the Fargo-Moorhead area.

The Fill the Dome Project not only exceeded their goals for 2009 by a wide margin but also exceeded the total of the two previous years combined.

The Great Plains Food Bank distributes food to local pantries and shelters. Of money raised, 30 percent goes to local groups and 70 percent goes to a mobile food pantry to help in rural western North Dakota.

These same youth, in many cases, helped save the Fargo/Moorhead area by filling and laying over 4 million sandbags this srping in the effort to save our area from flooding. Without their efforts our city would have definitely suffered severe lood damage.

These youth make me proud to live in Fargo and continues to give me faith in our next generation of leadership.

Hats off to ALL involved; many less fortunate will not go without in the months ahead!!

 

Some of the food collected yesterday

 

To date (2007-2009) Fill the Dome has raised over: 

Over 156,000 tons of non perishable food items

Over $157,000

I will be nominating this organization next year for CNN’S Heor of the Year!

 Below are photos from the 2008 drive:

http://fillthedome.org/ftd/Photos.html

Thanksgiving for Former Foster Youth

I wish possibilities like this event had been possible back when I aged out of the system back in 1968, after having spent the first 18 years of life in foster care. I went through the holidays from 1968 until 2002 without ever having a family to celebrate the holidays with. I finally was able to share Thanksgiving & Christmas in 2002 with cousins I had never known about until that year.

This story makes me smile!

Thanksgiving dinner provided for those who have experienced foster care
Monday,  November 23, 2009 3:02 AM
By Misti Crane, The Columbus Ohio Dispatch

 
Young people who’ve known the hardship of living without family and who’ve been challenged to find strength despite a shaky foundation found communion yesterday at a meal that came four days before the holiday but embodied its spirit.

Thanksgiving is about family. It’s about grace and gratitude.

For foster children and young adults who’ve moved beyond their temporary homes, family in its conventional sense can be elusive.

About 100 people from across the state, many of whom are in foster care or recently “aged out,” as they say, gathered yesterday afternoon at Agudas Achim, a Bexley synagogue.

Thanks to the kindnesses of others and the dogged advocacy of former foster child Lisa Dickson, they found camaraderie and Thanksgiving.

Dickson, who lives in Westerville, founded the Ohio chapter of Foster Care Alumni of America. She’s 36 and has a family of her own, but she remembers the feeling of isolation that could accompany the holidays, particularly when she was a young adult.

“There wasn’t a family to come back to; there weren’t those roots,” Dickson said.

“For a lot of people, the holidays can be the loneliest part.”

In and of itself, being a foster child can be lonely, said Alex McFarland, who is 19 and president of the group’s youth advisory board. He said it’s worse when those outside the situation misunderstand.

“A lot of people have the image that we’ve done something wrong, when more than likely somebody’s done something wrong to us,” said McFarland, who lives in a suburb of Dayton.

The dinner was the third-annual — the first in Columbus — and was made possible because of a $1,000 donation from Capital University’s student government that paid for food. The synagogue gave its space free, said Gabriel Koshinsky, vice president of student government and president of the Jewish Student Union.

The meal yesterday offered an opportunity to meet new people and learn about opportunities for foster children. It also gave guests the chance to reclaim the sense of belonging.

Dre Williams, who is 18 and lives in a foster home, and Kadeem Monroe, who is 19 and on his own, came to Columbus with a group from Stark County.

“I don’t know how many days I felt like I was the only foster child in the world,” Monroe said.

People who aren’t part of the system don’t understand the challenges or the emotional burdens or even how foster care works, the two said.

Williams said he wishes more good people would embrace children who can no longer live with their families, and that fewer people would invite foster children into their homes primarily for the money.

He’s now living with Jodi Wilson, who has been a foster mom to 14 kids over 17 years. She maintains ties with many of them, and has a warm rapport with Williams.

“These kids are alone, or I believe they feel alone,” said Wilson, who also works as supervisor of Stark County’s independent-living program.

Bringing them together as a family of sorts is important, Wilson said.

“They have a common language, common experiences,” she said.

“I’m 52, and I still talk to my mother every day. They don’t have that.”

Resource Center Established to Help States Implement Foster Care Legislation

A coalition of child welfare, adoption, healthcare, and education leaders has announced the launch of a national effort to fully implement the Fostering Connections Act, year-old legislation designed to address the healthcare needs of foster youth.

On the first anniversary of passage of the act, the coalition announced the creation of the Fostering Connections Resource Center, a nonpartisan clearinghouse that will work to provide timely data and customized tools created by experts in order to serve state and local decision makers as they move forward with implementation of the law. The coalition is comprised of nine organizations working to improve the lives of vulnerable children and families: the Annie E. Casey, Eckerd Family, Sierra Health, Stuart, and Walter S. Johnson foundations; Casey Family Programs; the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption; the Duke Endowment; and the Jim Casey Youth Opportunities Initiative.

While some progress has been made toward full implementation of the law, many states have reported difficulty in fulfilling certain aspects of it, such as new requirements for state child welfare agencies to coordinate with local education agencies and state health plans. The center’s national network of state-based and local experts will work to address these challenges, identify what is working, assist in the delivery and dissemination of resources, and provide technical assistance to state leaders.

“Congress took a bold and important step a year ago by passing the most important federal child welfare legislation in at least a decade,” said Cari DeSantis, executive vice president of public affairs and communications for Casey Family Programs. “Casey and our consortium partners are committed to removing any barrier to implementation of the Fostering Connections Act. None of us wants a child to wait a minute longer than necessary to live in a safe, loving, and permanent family home.”

Some States do LITTLE for Older Youth in Foster Care to be Adopted

Thed US Department of Health & Human Service Adminsitration for Children & Family Services have released the data for states who made efforts to increase adoptions of “older youth” in the foster care system across the United States. It appears some states have made strong efforts to accomplish this as indicated by the incentive dollars received by those states whereas over 20% of the states made little to no effort.

The table below is proved by the US Department of Health & Human Services, they also note that over 25,ooo older youth aged out of the foster care system this  year rather than being adopted. Some of those over age 16 made the choice not to be considered for adoption.

FY 2009 Adoption Incentive Awards
Based on FY 2008 Earning Year:

Alabama
$412,000
Alaska
$224,000
Arizona
$499,197
Arkansas
$822,078
California
$1,504,944
Colorado
$0
Connecticut
$511,354
Delaware
$0
Dist of Columbia
$0
Florida
$9,754,990
Georgia
$288,635
Hawaii
$204,000
Idaho
$356,800
Illinois
$236,000
Indiana
$1,623,350
Iowa
$0
Kansas
$72,000
Kentucky
$764,000
Louisiana
$1,206,559
Maine
$5,280
Maryland
$196,000
Massachusetts
$0
Michigan
$856,000
Minnesota
$1,329,276
Mississippi
$0
Missouri
$488,000
Montana
$7,679
Nebraska
$569,917
Nevada
$24,000
New Hampshire
$280,319
New Jersey
$0
New Mexico
$534,558
New York
$0
North Carolina
$1,388,312
North Dakota
$80,320
Ohio
$0
Oklahoma
$1,504,000
Oregon
$220,000
Pennsylvania
$1,264,154
Rhode Island
$208,000
South Carolina
$721,757
South Dakota
$112,800
Tennessee
$2,400
Texas
$4,969,734
Utah
$788,000
Vermont
$0
Virginia
$0
Washington
$0
West Virginia
$523,359
Wisconsin
$0
Wyoming
$131,360
Puerto Rico
$52,000

Boys Town Alumni Choir on Utube

This is the final of 3 blog entries in regards to the recent Boys Town Alumni Reunion Weekend (July 24-26, 2009).

After much effort to find a way to post this finally have gotten it up on Utube.

Many thanks goes to Jerry Webb (BT Class of 64) for recording this.

This is just a portion of the concert we alumni choir members gave at the conclusion on Mass on July 26. It is one of the first songs, followed by a medley to the branches of the armed forces many alumni served in (they stood to be recognized as each branch song was sung) and an encore.

The break between the end and encore was due to Reggie Walton, who endured many battles with cancer aqnd dialysis over a 10 year period and received his new kidney just 2 weeks before the reunion weekend was determined to make it…he was giving thanks for all the prayers and well wishes sent his was…Reggie is an inspiration to us all.

Hopefully soon a full audio of the concert will be available.

Note: the alumni choir met for only 2 hours during the weekend ot rehearse for this presentation. We hope to add soprano & alto voices at the next reunion in 2011.

Enjoy!

Peace,
Larry~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Ob9_yVNMcU

One Can Return Home Again!!!

It has been said by many, including myself from time to time, that one cannot go home again. Well this past weekend I in fact did go home again. It is not your typical home but it was home for me for seven plus years of my youth.

I had spent the first eleven years of my youth moving from one home to another; fourteen moves altogether. This ended shortly after my eleventh birthday.

On April 16, 1961, I arrived at the place that would truly be my home and the place I call home until this day. This place I returned to this past weekend for only the sixth time in the forty plus years since I graduated high school from. This special place is Father Flanagan’s Boys Home; better known throughout the world as Boys Town, Nebraska.

Every two years those who were once young boys, and now also young girls, return to Boys Town from across the country. For many of us it is the only place we ever had to call home. It is a time to remember our youth, renew old friendships, swap stories and ask whatever happen to. Though I had visited a few other times on my own this would be only the third actual reunion I have attended.

I arrived at Boys Town after a drive of about seven hours from Fargo, North Dakota. There upon my arrival I was greeted by three alumni from my era…Chris, Chuck & Carl. Just seeing them and giving big hugs made me feel immediately that I had come home.

After greetings as well as a reminder of something I had said upon graduation day back on June 2, 1968, “I will never come back to this %$#&@ place” we quickly moved on to the Alumni Office on campus to let them know we had come home.

While here I got to see the welcoming of the oldest alumni attending the reunion. He was at Boys Town 1937-1939 and is now 88 years old. He returned with his children and grandchildren. Though he was here only two years he stressed how much those two brief years changed his life and how grateful he was to be an alumnus of Boys Town. The oldest surviving alumnus of Boys Town had passed away only a few months ago at age 93.

After a lunch at the Visitor Center Chuck, Chris and I were off on a walking tour of the place we had spent so much time at, our old high school cottage, the high school, the old trade school and the field house. There would be more walks around the campus over the course of the weekend. While visiting these places we began almost immediately to do as returning Boys Town boys do…telling stories of the past. Yes, stories that may have taken but a few minutes when first told now took much longer as some seemed to expand as the years passed.

One thing I can tell you now is whenever Boys Town alumni gather for a visit DO NOT expect just a short visit. When we gather we can spend hours upon hours remembering stories of our youth at Boys Town…and many do this over the days of reunion weekend.

Before leaving campus to check in to my hotel for the weekend I had to make one stop alone. I went to Dowd Chapel to briefly visit and say a prayer of thanksgiving at the tomb of Father Flanagan. It is something I have done upon each return visit to Boys Town. Though I did not fully appreciate things during my years at Boys Town I have since. If not for a simple priest seeing the need to found a place for boys in need back in 1917 I do not know where I would be today. I admit each time I do this a few tears come as I am so grateful now for those seven plus years I spent in this place I call home.

In the early evening a pre-reunion weekend pizza party was in store. This had been planned by a small group of us to accommodate those who had arrived early for the weekend. The official Reunion Weekend did not start until Friday. Over 100 alumni, some with family in tow, gathered at a local pizza establishment to begin the story telling. Here I had a chance to greet and hug a number of my former classmates; each eager for the weekend ahead.

Friday brought the official beginning with registration at the Great Hall on campus. Each registrant received a bag with the weekend program and several goodies. One also had their first chance to purchase a few mementos. There appeared to be a steady stream of cars arriving bringing alumni home. The big event of this day besides a golf tournament for those who play golf would not come until the evening hours.

I would spend part of this day continuing my walking journey around campus. One should note that walking was the way we got around the 1400 acre campus back in my day. Today the youth are driven everywhere they go. I prefer the old mode of transportation…my own two feet! Today I visited Chambers Chapel (where those not of the Catholic faith attend services and not on campus when I was here), Father Flanagan’s official home on campus until Dowd Chapel & rectory was built, the Boys Town Lake and the Music Hall. As I walked I could see many others doing the exact same thing. In some cases alumni were bringing their children and grandchildren to the home for the first time to show them where that had grown up.

Late afternoon brought me back to Dowd Chapel to supposedly listen to a period of reflections by Father Clifford Stevens, class of 1944). Usually Father Stevens talks of his memories as a youth of Father Flanagan. Today was different. He gave a very moving tribute to Msgr. Schmidt. Smittie, as some of us call him now that he can’t get us) was Choir Director at Boys Town for over thirty years. The Boys Town Concert Choir was known throughout the country as one of the finest youth choirs that toured all over the country each fall. Smittie was also one of my father figures throughout my years at Boys Town. At the conclusion I could only go to Father Stevens with tears in my eyes to say thank you for his very emotional tribute. Seems I get teary eyed rather easily these days -:)

The time came for the first official gathering of the weekend in the Great Hall…the Alumni Social. Here at the hall, as with many other buildings on campus, hung a huge banner welcoming alumni home. Hundreds began pouring into the hall. You could hear the greeting of old classmates, much laughter, stories being told. Though it may have been years in some cases of seeing each other one could see how easily old classmates interacted as if it had only been yesterday since they had seen each other.

I had one such experience that evening. There was one person whom I had lived with in Cottage 38 for part of my high school years who graduated with me but I had not heard from or seen since 1968. Am grateful he still recognized me as I would not have him as he had completely changed hairstyles since then…he came over to me saying he recognized me immediately. We sat down with his wife and son and just immediately began sharing what we had done since our days at Boys Town, recounted stories and other boys we had known. You would not have known over forty years had passed since we last saw each other. Thank you John, Candy & Shamus for one of my highlights of the weekend. We also determined that evening we would not let forty years go by again without speaking to or seeing each other. The fortunate thing is we found out live only a few hour drive from each other.

I saw so many of my former classmates that evening. We took a photo which included many of us though throughout the weekend we never seemed to be able to gather everyone from the class of 1968 together in one spot for a complete picture.

Three more highlights were added to the weekend experience on Saturday. Jim Acklin had been one of my closest friends during my final two years at Boys Town. He had also been my debate partner in our senior year. Our winning record in 1968 still stands today. Jim went on to Notre Dame then joined the Air Force. Jim became a test pilot and on one training mission in the fall of 1987 his plane’s window was hit by a flock of birds. After seeing to it that as many of his crew as possible could be saved Jim, along with two crew members, went down with the plane. Jim had given his all for his country and fellow men. This day Jim was honored by the BTNAA (Boys Town National Alumni Association) as one of the outstanding alumni of Boys Town. I had hoped and prayed Jim would be honored in this manner for years.

The second highlight came after a luncheon for alumni in the Great Hall. Each reunion weekend includes a short but solemn memorial service at the Armed Forces Memorial. Boys Town alumni have been a part of each of our armed services as well as war since WWII. Over 40 alumni gave their all in WWII and alumni have been lost in each war since. A  color guard of present day ROTC members is presented, the pledge is recited, words of remembrance given, a wreath is laid,  taps are played and a prayer is offered not only for those who lost their lives in war but for all who have been willing to answer the call of their country yesterday as well as today. 

The third highlight of the day was the gathering of the Alumni Choir for rehearsal. The alumni choir had become a part of reunion weekend in 1997. The choir would rehearse to sing the high mass on Sunday as well as give a short Patriotic concert. The choir section back in the old days lived in one building during grade school years (Gregory Hall) or old Section 4 (Cottages 34-39) during high school years. Since we lived in one area we probably developed some of the stronger relationships during our years there. The choir section seems to bring a number back for reunion weekend. Over forty of us gathered in the upper room of the Music Hall this Saturday afternoon to rehearse the mass and concert; it was just so much like the old days…especially with some of the Latin liturgical selections to be used for the mass. It is amazing how the Latin comes back to one even after so many years.

Another highlight within this highlight deserves mentioning here. Reggie, a member of the class of 1967, attended. This was a highlight because of what Reggie has endured the past ten plus years. In 1998 it was discovered that Reggie had kidney cancer. Though he overcame it there was not a kidney transplant available thus Reggie had to go on dialysis. He then experienced testilcal cancer and prostate cancer…each of which he overcame but also until he was cancer free for three years made him ineligible for a transplant. Two weeks before the reunion Reggie finally got his new kidney. Though still very weakened and in pain Reggie was determined to make the reunion. Reggie had been prayed for by many of us over the years and to see him present was truly an inspiration for all of us!

That evening a dinner and dance was held at the DC Centre. Besides the dinner it is also a time to give special recognition to some of the classes returning home. Very special recognition is given to those commemorating their 25th & 50th anniversary of their graduation. Those remembering their 30th & 40th are highlighted in a smaller fashion. It was great however when it was aksed that those celebrating their 40th anniversary (classes of 1968 & 1969) to stand up…close to 50 alumni stood in unison…the largest contingent of the reunion. John, Alumni Advisor, could only say, “WOW boy did they ever storm Nebraska this weekend.” We are quite proud of this accomplishment!

I was excited by The Alumni Ambassador Program introduced by Fr. Boes, current BT Director, at the Reunion Banquet.  This program is designed to challenge and empower us as alumni to spread the good work, by public speaking, that Fr. Flanagan started by giving us the proper tools and education to do so.   In addition, this Ambassador program will give us the opportunity to welcome new alumni to our communities by introducing them to the community and aid them in their transition period and all the potential conflicts that might arise—sort of like a Welcome Wagon.

This is the first time Boys Town has challenged alumni to give back though we asked for a challenge many times before. In the past we were just asked to return for reunions, pay our membership dues and try to uphold the traditions of Boys Town. Now for those of us who accept the challenge we can become true partners in the efforts of the Boys Town of today.

Sunday morning brought another choir rehearsal followed by mass and concert. Dowd Chapel was packed to the rafters as many had to stand in the aisles throughout the service. The church was filled with present day youth, their teaching parents, local parish members and of course the alumni and families. The closing song of the concert proved to be the highlight of the concert. Those in attendance were asked to sit, they had been standing throughout the concert to this point, and stand when their branch of service song was sung…it was a medley to the armed forces of our country. As each song was sung alumni stood to cheering from the others in tribute to their service to the country. The concert ended with a standing ovation and shouts of more, more, more. We gave them what they asked for by singing Salve Mater which had been sung earlier in the mass.

The final event of the weekend is a picnic at the Boys Town Lake; a site which many tales can be told about. Here final photos are taken, the final stories are told and promises to return in two years hence are given. As quickly as the weekend began it also ends.

Boys Town has undergone many changes over the past forty plus years, some I agree with and others not, but this was not a weekend to dwell on those changes. It was a time to remember our youth, our friends and what Boys Town meant to each of us. A bond of brotherhood has been established amongst those of us who call Boys Town home and it is a bond not broken even after many years since leaving Boys Town. To us we are family and for many the only family they will ever know.

Though the reunion was over I was to have one more highlight before arriving home in Fargo. A fellow member of the class of 1968 who had planned to attend in the end was unable to. We had reconnected after forty years earlier in the year via E mail and phone calls but had not seen each face to face since graduation. On my way home I made a call to him and he said I had to come by the house. He lives only three miles off the interstate I was travelling. What was planned to be but a half hour visit turned into over two and a half for us. Just like John a few days earlier in the weekend we talked like we had seen each other just the day before rather than it having been over forty years. Thank you Tom & Linda for making the perfect ending to a perfect weekend!!

I have made an album of photos from the weekend, some of the photos I personally took while others were provided by fellow alumni. They tell the story in photos while here I have tried as simply as I can to put it all into words…the photos probably tell it better than I can.

Those who may have looked at the album already may wish to do so again as many more have been added (up to 70 now) and a few more will yet be added. Though it is on Facebook one does NOT need to be a member of Facebook to view it. Just go to:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/album.php?aid=133962&id=721232585&ref=mf

I know this blog entry is rather lengthy or wordy some might say. I however could not let the weekend pass without putting into words what I felt on this inside over the course of the weekend. This was only the third reunion of the twenty held since my graduation and it was the best of the three. If health wise and financially able I hope to attend each reunion from this point on.

If for some unfortunate reason I am not able to attend another reunion gathering I wish to thank fellow alumni who were not part of my class such a Chuck, Tom, Chico. John, Javier, Reggie & Joe but especially members of the class of 1968: David, John C, John G, Renato, Chris, Gregory, Tom B, Juan, Dan, Pat, Bruce, Vernon, LaVerne, Joe, Stan & Jim as well as John Mollison and the Alumni Office staff including Tom & Mark  for making this weekend one I will always remember….thank you for the cherished memories!

One can go home again and this weekend proved it to me!

Peace~

A Return to Boys Town!!

Early Thursday morning I will depart for Boys Town to attend my 40th class reunion. It is a trip I have looked forward to for the past year; though at times it appeared doubtful I would be able to make the trip. This is only the 3rd reunion I will be attending in 40 years and only the 6th return trip to Boys Town. The last trip was on July 4, 2003, when I made a day trip there with my cousin Carol to show her where I grew up for seven years.

After experiencing 14 moves within the Michigan foster care system from the day of my birth until age eleven, the system gave up on me and decided to send me off to become someone elses worry…to Boys Town, Nebraska.

Though during my 7 years at Boys Town I did not believe it was a great decision…twenty years later I realized it was the best decision the system ever made for me.

Boys Town became my first stable enviorment. It became the place where I got a moral compass, a good education and the opportunity to further my education after high school…to name just a few of the positives offered me. I realized Boys Town had become my childhood home for me and I continue to call Boys Town my home today; 40 years later! I dedicate four chapters of my book to my years at Boys Town as well as one of my past visits there and how Boys Town has changed since I was there.

http://www.larrya.us/boystown.html

http://www.larrya.us/boystown1.html

http://www.larrya.us/boystown2.html

http://www.larrya.us/boystown3.html

Though Boys Town has changed greatly over the years since my years there, some for the better and some I feel for the worse, it is still a place where one who is open to what they have to offer and take advantage of the opportunities offered them can change their lives for the better.

There will be alumni of Boys Town there this weekend from 1939 to 2008…each coming back to the place they called home; some for just a year or so while those of us prior to the mid 70’s spent much of our youth there.

There were 126 members of my class in 1968, only 108 of us remain today as we have lost 18 of our brothers since then. This will be the largest gathering of the class of 1968 since our graduation. Most of us are reaching 60 or already have. We do not know how many such gatherings remain for us. It is an opportunity for us to renew our friendships, share old “war” stories of our fays there.

I will be reconnecting with some I have had no contact with for these past 40 years while others I will be renewing friendships since I last saw them in 1997…the last reunion I was able to attend.

The system made a lot of mistakes during my first years of life but I remain thankful they finally made the right decision the day they decided to send me to Boys Town (April 16, 1961).

One of the first places I will stop, as I have done during each visit home is the tomb of Fr. Flanagan (founder of Boys Town) in the chapel. There I will say a silent prayer thanking him for founding Boys Town and giving me the opportunity to have a place called home for seven years.

I will blog about the trip upon my return home here in North Dakota next week.

Peace!

ORPHAN…A Movie to Boycott!!

Orphan, a new thriller about a demonic adopted child, has enraged adoptive parents who are calling for a boycott.

Melissa Faye Greene—mother of five orphaned kids recently wrote a blog entry on The Daily Beast advocating a boycott against this movie. I completely agree with her views as well as many other adoptive parents across the country!

Warner Brothers’ latest horror movie, called Orphan, is scaring the bejabbers out of thousands of Americans well in advance of its July 24 debut.

The posters display the single word OrPHAN, scrawled in red over black in that font we all recognize as the favorite of kidnappers, assassins, and sociopaths. The movie trailers, already in theaters and on TV, include the ominous line: “It must be difficult to love an adopted child as much as your own.”

Truly horrified—not happily, screamingly horrified, not throwing-the-popcorn-and-hugging-your-date and getting-what-you-paid-for horrified, but horrified at the callousness of Warner Brothers—adoptive and foster parents and others concerned with the fragile welfare of the world’s most vulnerable citizens are calling for a boycott of the movie.

None of them have seen it yet, though some have tried. (Two screenings in New York were canceled.) But when a movie’s trailers are this offensive, it’s hard to imagine the feature-length version will lighten anyone’s mood. It’s difficult to love Warner Brothers as much as you love your own children by adoption.

In the trailers, we learn that an affluent white American couple with two cute biological children are grieving a miscarriage when they decide to adopt an older child, a black-haired thick-browed creepy 9-year-old girl of obscure provenance named Esther. They drive to an old-fashioned orphanage (what year is this?), talk to a nun (what year is this?), and then leave with a 9-year-old Russian girl who lives there for some reason.

There’s no hint that parents actually spend months and years on legal work, social work, background checks, home visits, and courtroom appearances in order to adopt a child. The trailer gives the impression that any couple with a yen for “a replacement child” (as this psychologically unhealthy practice is known) can stroll into an orphanage, pick one out, and take her home.

Even Humane Societies have an application process before handing out kittens and puppies. Even civic groups who want to “Adopt a Highway” fill out a few forms first.

Almost immediately it becomes clear that Kate and John have not brought home a sweet little girl but have introduced into their family a mythic amalgam of Rosemary’s Baby, The Bad Seed, Grendel, and the shark from Jaws. Pure evil has appeared in this upscale family home, and you can tell it’s pure evil because of that scary font, the disturbing soundtrack, that black hair, and the fact that she’s a Russian orphan adopted as an older child. Can it get scarier than that?

Grassroots protests began against the film’s PR campaign. Protesters include parents of older children adopted from foreign orphanages, aware that their own children waited a long time for families because most prospective parents are looking for healthy babies to adopt. Protesters include people who believe that TV newsmagazines and sensationalistic reports have demonized orphanage children from Eastern Europe enough already and that OrPHAN is just piling on.

With the overthrow of Romanian dictator Nicolae Ceausescu in 1989, a concentration camp-like world of imprisoned children was exposed to the world. A majority of them were black-haired, brown-skinned Roma children discarded in a land of unrepentant racism; many of the white children had been born with conditions like cleft palate, Down ayndrome, fetal alcohol syndrome, crossed eyes, or club feet in a society that found disabilities shameful. Thousands were adopted by families in North America and Western Europe. Few arrived unscathed.

It turns out that profound neglect, prenatal exposure to alcohol, exposure to extreme heat and cold, malnutrition, denial of health services, silence, and cruelty give children a rough start in life!

While the vast majority of the post-institutionalized children—fondly called “resilient rascals” by one researcher—adapted to family life and thrived, a few (the stuff of headlines) showed signs of post-traumatic stress disorder or other psychological challenges. Some began to steal, to lie, and to act out violently, especially toward their new mothers. A handful of stories, real or exaggerated, entered popular culture. No one knows this better than adoptive parents of older post-institutionalized children (of which I am one) because of the dire warnings freely offered by concerned friends and relations. “Older children from orphanages are incapable of love!” you are warned. “They set fires! They hoard food! They kill pets! Beware!”

The movie OrPHAN comes directly from this unexamined place in popular culture. Esther’s shadowy past includes Eastern Europe; she appears normal and sweet, but quickly turns violent and cruel, especially toward her mother. These are clichés. This is the baggage with which we saddle abandoned, orphaned, or disabled children given a fresh start at family life.

Dog lovers (of which I am also one) wouldn’t stand for a movie like this. What if last summer’s hit, Marley & Me, had been a horror flick called SHeLTeR Dog, in which a rescued Golden Retriever turns out to be Satan’s spawn, mutilating Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson with bloody pointed teeth and tearing apart their baby? Animal lovers everywhere would have been up in arms, fearing that such myth-making could actually scare people away from taking in shelter dogs.

Adoptive parents organized a Facebook group called “I Am Boycotting Warner Bros’ ‘Orphan’ Movie,” which has 4,392 members (of which I am one). The Christian Alliance for Orphans launched an initiative called Orphans Deserve Better. Its poster keeps the scary font and the word “OrPHAN,” but replaces the chilling face of Esther with a chubby smiling brown-skinned toddler under the tagline, “There’s something beautiful in the face of an orphan.”

Someone in the Warner Brothers hierarchy must have said, “Uh oh.” In the minds of movie-industry people, the word “BoYCOTT” appears scrawled in red over black, in the Font of Evil.

Scott Rowe, senior vice president of corporate communications at Warner Bros., contacted Bethann Buddenbaum, co-founder of the Facebook group, to say that her concerns had been heard. He explained that there is a “hook to the plot that ultimately removes the child/orphan stigma.”

What does that mean? That Esther is neither a child nor an orphan? What a spoiler! Rowe also promised that the offensive tagline, “It must be difficult to love an adopted child as much as your own” was being replaced.

The new tagline is: “There’s something wrong with Esther.”

Is this an improvement? Jane Aronson, head of the nonprofit group World Wide Orphans and a pediatrician devoted to institutionalized and post-institutionalized children, doesn’t think so. “There’s something wrong with Esther” continues “to perpetuate negative stereotypes that there is something dysfunctional or inherently wrong with children who need families,” she recently wrote. “The fact remains that millions of children around the globe are parentless due to circumstances beyond their control.”

I didn’t see this one coming. I was watching basketball on TV with my 14-year-old son Jesse, who is a Rom adopted at age 4½ from an orphanage in Bulgaria. The movie trailer came on. The word OrPHAN caught our attention. “Adopting an older child is not an easy decision,” says the nun, but the couple chooses Esther anyway. They show her a beautiful house, a pretty room. Then all hell breaks loose, involving thunder, lightning, squealing tires, broken glass, screaming, pop-outs, and car accidents.

“There’s something wrong with Esther,” appears in black letters, filling the screen.

Jesse’s jaw dropped. Then he looked over at me with a half-laugh and offered, “That’s kind of weird.”

It’s more than weird. It’s lazy, irresponsible, and cruel. There’s something wrong with Warner Brothers.

Melissa Fay Greene is the author, most recently, of There Is No Me Without You: One Woman’s Odyssey to Save Her Country’s Children, and she is the mother of nine, five of whom joined the family at older ages from orphanages in Bulgaria and Ethiopia. Visit her online at www.thereisnomewithoutyou.com

Florida child-welfare employees put kids at risk!

Below is a recent article in the Orlando Sentinal. This situation is not unique to Florida. However, please note there are many, many dedicated case workers in the field who give their all to children. Until those “bad apples” who put children at risk are dealt with by more than a hand slap stories such as this will continue.

More than 70 caseworkers lied about efforts to protect children

Florida child-welfare employees put kids at risk, records show — some cite staggering caseloads

By Rene Stutzman Sentinel Staff Writer

July 12, 2009

During the past two years, more than 70 Florida child-welfare workers have been caught falsifying records — lying about their on-the-job efforts to protect children, according to state and county records reviewed by the Orlando Sentinel.

As a consequence, the Florida Department of Children and Families temporarily lost track of at least six children, sometimes for months. Fourteen children were left in unsafe homes, the Sentinel found in a review of agency records.

Despite passage of a state law intended to punish cheaters, dishonest caseworkers remain a persistent problem in Florida’s system to protect at-risk children:

•The day after a caseworker reported that she had inspected a foster home in Wildwood, police found its four foster children living in tents in the yard. The house had no running water, no food and no clean clothes.

•After a Hardee County social worker lied about making home visits, one child wound up living with an uncle awaiting trial on child-rape charges.

•Two children in Hernando County lived, for a time, with a grandfather who had been arrested two years earlier and accused of physically abusing his own child.

No child was hurt or killed because of phony paperwork, DCF said. But an investigation into the 2007 death of a neglected Jacksonville newborn revealed that his caseworker had falsified records in four other cases.

Once they were questioned about false records, workers time and again complained that they had been assigned too many children to watch, records show.

DCF Secretary George Sheldon, a former lawmaker who has run the agency since last year, said he has no sympathy for workers who lie.

“If you’re overworked and can’t get to cases, go to your supervisor and say that, but don’t say you made the visit when you didn’t make the visit,” Sheldon said. “If you falsify, you’re not going to get away with it, and there’s going to be a cost to doing it.”

The agency’s Office of Inspector General, its internal watchdog, investigated most of the falsification cases reviewed by the Sentinel and provided data and reports about them. The agency watches for employees who dummy up reports, fires most of them and hands over information to state attorneys for prosecution, DCF officials say.

Few workers end up punished, however, beyond losing their jobs.

Child advocates said they were not surprised by the cheating.

The cases identified by theSentinelare most likely “the tip of the iceberg,” said Gerard Glynn, a law professor at the Barry University law school in Orlando. He runs a legal clinic that represents children, many of them DCF clients.

“I’m happy they don’t sweep this under the rug and hide the facts,” he said, “but it still means the system is failing these children, and one failure is too many.”

How caseworkers lie

Of the 70-plus workers who lied in children’s cases, half were DCF staffers, according to department data. The others worked for private organizations hired by DCF to supervise child-safety cases.

Offenders generally falsified two kinds of records: those documenting mandatory monthly visits with foster children and those showing that child-abuse investigators had chased down every lead. Some also forged signatures to cover their tracks, according to court and department records.

Many problems came to light by accident, when workers doing follow-up interviews or investigations discovered inconsistencies in case files. Sometimes, foster parents or family members complained, prompting an investigation. Other times, supervisors spotted suspicious paperwork.

However it happened, the false documents often reported that children were safer than they truly were.

In the Wildwood case, the foster children living in tents were assigned to case manager Angie L. Diaz, who worked for one of DCF’s biggest contractors, Children’s Home Society of Winter Park. She filed paperwork saying that on Jan. 2, 2007, she went to the house, checked it inside and out, and found everything fine.

The next day, however, police went to the house and arrested the foster mother on child-neglect charges.

The home, which also housed the foster mother’s three biological children, had a broken water pipe and an inch of water standing on the floor. There was no electricity on the first floor, no working refrigerator and no food, according to a police report.

Officers said they found piles of dirty clothes, trash and rotting food scattered around, along with rooms crawling with roaches.

DCF immediately took custody of all seven children. The agency concluded that Diaz had gone to the house the day before but had not gone inside, a violation of agency policy.

Four times, Diaz fabricated details of what she saw inside the house, DCF’s inspector general concluded. The foster mother also accused Diaz of forging her signature on one form — the woman’s name was misspelled.

Children’s Home Society fired Diaz a few weeks later, DCF reported.

Diaz now lives northwest of Ocala and is named Angie Rivera, according to the department. Contacted by phone recently, she said she left Children’s Home Society voluntarily and doesn’t remember anything similar to what the police or the inspector general described.

She said she did not believe those things happened.

The vanished caseworker

Lenore Charles, 61, of Belleview, near Ocala, has helped raise more than 20 foster children. Three years ago, she took in a 5-year-old boy who was disabled and couldn’t talk or dress himself or use a toilet.

The child made progress in her home, Charles said, but with almost no help from the social worker in charge of his case.

Merrie Hanmann, who worked for a DCF contractor, came to the house just once in nine months, Charles told the agency’s inspector general.

“She was supposed to come every month, and she didn’t,” Charles told the Sentinel.

After Charles complained, Hanmann was placed under investigation and resigned. DCF’s inspector general concluded she was guilty. She was prosecuted by Sumter County authorities, pleaded guilty to making a false report and wound up paying a fine.

She did not respond to a letter from the Sentinel, seeking comment.

One of the most prolific offenders, according to DCF, was Andrew Joseph Jr., 37 of Riverview, who worked for a DCF contractor in Hillsborough County.

Prosecutors charged him with 33 counts of falsifying records. He pleaded guilty to seven falsehoods and was placed on three years’ probation.

Among the things he did wrong, according to the DCF inspector general: He falsely reported that he was making home visits to a foster child. He did drop the girl off for a visit with her aunt one weekend but never returned, leaving the girl stranded for three or four months.

The department considered leaving her there but, in the end, did not. That’s because every adult in that home had a criminal record.

Joseph did not respond to a letter from the Sentinel seeking his comments.

In Orange County last year, Erica A. Johnson, 31, a child-abuse investigator, claimed she worked overtime one Saturday, visiting the homes of two local children.

But DCF became suspicious and checked her agency cell phone, which had a satellite link that showed where it had been. Instead of working in Orange County, Johnson had gone on an overnight trip to Fort Pierce, agency records show.

Johnson resigned within the week. She now lives in Fort Pierce.

“It was a bad decision,” she said. “It’s something I really regret.”

Rilya Wilson, lost child

Florida overhauled its child-welfare system after authorities discovered in 2002 that a Miami foster child, 5-year-old Rilya Wilson, had been missing for 15 months without DCF knowing. Her caseworker had stopped making face-to-face visits.

The child has never been found.

In response to the scandal, the agency began outsourcing much of its child-safety work to private contractors.

What’s left today is a much smaller government agency with limited oversight of the companies in charge of child safety.

In general, DCF still sends out its own employee-investigators when it receives a hotline call about a child who might be in danger, but once a case advances beyond that, children who’ve been neglected or abused or need foster care are tended to by private companies. Many of them, in turn, hire subcontractors to deal directly with the children.

DCF requires that contract workers who do “case management” — oversee children — have a bachelor’s degree in social work. They also must undergo weeks of training.

But the agency does not limit the number of cases workers can be assigned.

The Child Welfare League of America, the nation’s oldest organization dedicated to at-risk children, recommends that social workers handle no more than 12 to 15 foster children at any one time. DCF, by contrast, does not mandate caseload caps for contractors or its own staff.

In 2007, its inspector general was worried about caseworkers being overloaded. It had discovered that Ruben Bouissa, who worked for a Palm Beach County nonprofit, had lied about checking on four foster children, according to DCF documents.

Bouissa’s supervisor admitted that she had piled on the work. Because Bouissa was the only Spanish-speaker in the office, he was forced to handle 40 to 50 cases, double the usual, his boss told the investigator. Bouissa resigned, was charged with a misdemeanor by Palm Beach County prosecutors and wound up in a pretrial-diversion program.

The inspector general’s office presented DCF senior management with the facts of that case and pointed out the welfare league’s caseload recommendation, but Assistant Secretary for Programs David L. Fairbanks said the agency should not impose those or any caseload limits on contractors.

Judi Spann, the agency’s deputy chief of staff, wrote the Sentinel in May that caseloads are an important issue to the department, one it monitors, and the statewide average workload was 14 to 22 cases per foster-care caseworker.

The cases reviewed by the Sentinel, however, show that workers DCF identified as cheaters routinely complained about unmanageable caseloads.

Samuel Orejobi, who worked for a Fort Myers-area nonprofit hired by DCF, told the department that his caseload was 63 foster children. He said he worked 13-hour days, did not have time to see his own children and endured constant complaints from his wife about his long hours.

He was fired after DCF concluded he had falsified records in one case.

Neither Bouissa nor Orejobi returned phone calls.

“Are workers continuing to be overworked? Too few workers? Too many children? Yes,” said Glynn, the child advocate at Barry University

DCF contends that any caseworkers who feel overworked need to speak up and ask for help.

Search for cheaters

As part of the reforms that followed Rilya Wilson’s disappearance, Florida legislators passed a law making it a felony for child-welfare workers to falsify records.

Nearly half of the DCF employees and contract workers who falsified records in 2007 and 2008 were prosecuted, according to state and court records.

The most common sentence: probation. More than a dozen others were placed in pretrial-diversion programs. In the overwhelming majority of cases that were prosecuted, judges withheld an adjudication of guilt, meaning there’s no official record that workers were convicted of a crime.

Almost all were fired or quit. Agency managers decide what to do on a case-by-case basis, the department reported.

The number of confirmed falsifications amounts to about half a percent of the department’s total caseload, said John Cooper, acting assistant DCF secretary for operations.

However, “When an employee does falsify a record,” Cooper said, “they betray the sacred public trust that we instill in them.”

Sheldon said the agency plans to police workers more closely. DCF has $9.8 million in funding to outfit workers with hand-held global-positioning units.

The idea is to enable workers to write up notes in the field — not require them to return to the office and type them into a computer. But the same technology will allow the agency to confirm that a home visit took place at a certain time and place, Sheldon said.

Hundreds of the units are being tested in Miami. But a dispute over who should provide software for the system has stalled the effort.

Longtime child advocate Jack Levine of the 4Generations Institute in Tallahassee, a family-policy advisory group, said DCF clearly is policing itself, firing bad workers and trying to make children safer.

But the state also has a legacy of failing to meet its goals.

“Florida is a state that has always had among the finest child-protection laws and among the most paltry budgets to pay for those good intentions,” Levine said.

The next day, however, police went to the house and arrested the foster mother on child-neglect charges.

The home, which also housed the foster mother’s three biological children, had a broken water pipe and an inch of water standing on the floor. There was no electricity on the first floor, no working refrigerator and no food, according to a police report.

Officers said they found piles of dirty clothes, trash and rotting food scattered around, along with rooms crawling with roaches.

DCF immediately took custody of all seven children. The agency concluded that Diaz had gone to the house the day before but had not gone inside, a violation of agency policy.

Four times, Diaz fabricated details of what she saw inside the house, DCF’s inspector general concluded. The foster mother also accused Diaz of forging her signature on one form — the woman’s name was misspelled.

Children’s Home Society fired Diaz a few weeks later, DCF reported.

Diaz now lives northwest of Ocala and is named Angie Rivera, according to the department. Contacted by phone recently, she said she left Children’s Home Society voluntarily and doesn’t remember anything similar to what the police or the inspector general described.

She said she did not believe those things happened.

The vanished caseworker

Lenore Charles, 61, of Belleview, near Ocala, has helped raise more than 20 foster children. Three years ago, she took in a 5-year-old boy who was disabled and couldn’t talk or dress himself or use a toilet.

The child made progress in her home, Charles said, but with almost no help from the social worker in charge of his case.

Merrie Hanmann, who worked for a DCF contractor, came to the house just once in nine months, Charles told the agency’s inspector general.

“She was supposed to come every month, and she didn’t,” Charles told the Sentinel.

After Charles complained, Hanmann was placed under investigation and resigned. DCF’s inspector general concluded she was guilty. She was prosecuted by Sumter County authorities, pleaded guilty to making a false report and wound up paying a fine.

She did not respond to a letter from the Sentinel, seeking comment.

One of the most prolific offenders, according to DCF, was Andrew Joseph Jr., 37 of Riverview, who worked for a DCF contractor in Hillsborough County.

Prosecutors charged him with 33 counts of falsifying records. He pleaded guilty to seven falsehoods and was placed on three years’ probation.

Among the things he did wrong, according to the DCF inspector general: He falsely reported that he was making home visits to a foster child. He did drop the girl off for a visit with her aunt one weekend but never returned, leaving the girl stranded for three or four months.

The department considered leaving her there but, in the end, did not. That’s because every adult in that home had a criminal record.

Joseph did not respond to a letter from the Sentinel seeking his comments.

In Orange County last year, Erica A. Johnson, 31, a child-abuse investigator, claimed she worked overtime one Saturday, visiting the homes of two local children.

But DCF became suspicious and checked her agency cell phone, which had a satellite link that showed where it had been. Instead of working in Orange County, Johnson had gone on an overnight trip to Fort Pierce, agency records show.

Johnson resigned within the week. She now lives in Fort Pierce.

“It was a bad decision,” she said. “It’s something I really regret.”

Rilya Wilson, lost child

Florida overhauled its child-welfare system after authorities discovered in 2002 that a Miami foster child, 5-year-old Rilya Wilson, had been missing for 15 months without DCF knowing. Her caseworker had stopped making face-to-face visits.

The child has never been found.

In response to the scandal, the agency began outsourcing much of its child-safety work to private contractors.

What’s left today is a much smaller government agency with limited oversight of the companies in charge of child safety.

In general, DCF still sends out its own employee-investigators when it receives a hotline call about a child who might be in danger, but once a case advances beyond that, children who’ve been neglected or abused or need foster care are tended to by private companies. Many of them, in turn, hire subcontractors to deal directly with the children.

DCF requires that contract workers who do “case management” — oversee children — have a bachelor’s degree in social work. They also must undergo weeks of training.

But the agency does not limit the number of cases workers can be assigned.

The Child Welfare League of America, the nation’s oldest organization dedicated to at-risk children, recommends that social workers handle no more than 12 to 15 foster children at any one time. DCF, by contrast, does not mandate caseload caps for contractors or its own staff.

In 2007, its inspector general was worried about caseworkers being overloaded. It had discovered that Ruben Bouissa, who worked for a Palm Beach County nonprofit, had lied about checking on four foster children, according to DCF documents.

Bouissa’s supervisor admitted that she had piled on the work. Because Bouissa was the only Spanish-speaker in the office, he was forced to handle 40 to 50 cases, double the usual, his boss told the investigator. Bouissa resigned, was charged with a misdemeanor by Palm Beach County prosecutors and wound up in a pretrial-diversion program.

The inspector general’s office presented DCF senior management with the facts of that case and pointed out the welfare league’s caseload recommendation, but Assistant Secretary for Programs David L. Fairbanks said the agency should not impose those or any caseload limits on contractors.

Judi Spann, the agency’s deputy chief of staff, wrote the Sentinel in May that caseloads are an important issue to the department, one it monitors, and the statewide average workload was 14 to 22 cases per foster-care caseworker.

The cases reviewed by the Sentinel, however, show that workers DCF identified as cheaters routinely complained about unmanageable caseloads.

Samuel Orejobi, who worked for a Fort Myers-area nonprofit hired by DCF, told the department that his caseload was 63 foster children. He said he worked 13-hour days, did not have time to see his own children and endured constant complaints from his wife about his long hours.

He was fired after DCF concluded he had falsified records in one case.

Neither Bouissa nor Orejobi returned phone calls.

“Are workers continuing to be overworked? Too few workers? Too many children? Yes,” said Glynn, the child advocate at Barry University

DCF contends that any caseworkers who feel overworked need to speak up and ask for help.

Search for cheaters

As part of the reforms that followed Rilya Wilson’s disappearance, Florida legislators passed a law making it a felony for child-welfare workers to falsify records.

Nearly half of the DCF employees and contract workers who falsified records in 2007 and 2008 were prosecuted, according to state and court records.

The most common sentence: probation. More than a dozen others were placed in pretrial-diversion programs. In the overwhelming majority of cases that were prosecuted, judges withheld an adjudication of guilt, meaning there’s no official record that workers were convicted of a crime.

Almost all were fired or quit. Agency managers decide what to do on a case-by-case basis, the department reported.

The number of confirmed falsifications amounts to about half a percent of the department’s total caseload, said John Cooper, acting assistant DCF secretary for operations.

However, “When an employee does falsify a record,” Cooper said, “they betray the sacred public trust that we instill in them.”

Sheldon said the agency plans to police workers more closely. DCF has $9.8 million in funding to outfit workers with hand-held global-positioning units.

The idea is to enable workers to write up notes in the field — not require them to return to the office and type them into a computer. But the same technology will allow the agency to confirm that a home visit took place at a certain time and place, Sheldon said.

Hundreds of the units are being tested in Miami. But a dispute over who should provide software for the system has stalled the effort.

Longtime child advocate Jack Levine of the 4Generations Institute in Tallahassee, a family-policy advisory group, said DCF clearly is policing itself, firing bad workers and trying to make children safer.

But the state also has a legacy of failing to meet its goals.

“Florida is a state that has always had among the finest child-protection laws and among the most paltry budgets to pay for those good intentions,” Levine said.

Children of the System

New research supports a radical shift in child-welfare policy for the thousands of teens who ‘age out’ of foster care at age 18, only to face high rates of homelessness, unemployment and incarceration. The system is failing thousands of youth under their care each and every year, 29,000 youth faced aging out last year.

By Daniel Heimpel Mar 9, 2009

Eighteen-year-old John Kyzer’s blue eyes are bleary and the skin around them puffy as he paces a corner of Hollywood Boulevard in Los Angeles. Kyzer has been spending his nights on a bench in front of a Starbucks. And now, he is dangerously close to entering the ranks of dozens of other former foster youth who “cop a squat” (sit) on concrete stairwells and sleep in “abandos” (abandoned buildings) up and down the street.

Soon after his 18th birthday, the state of California “terminated” Kyzer’s case and he was forced to leave his group home. He moved in with his girlfriend and their 4-month-old baby in the home she shared with three generations of her family. Wanting to help support his son, Kyzer got a job at Starbucks and worked as many hours as the boss would give him. For two months his confidence brimmed.

But then he did something many teenagers do. He blew off work and was fired. Now, the door to his girlfriend’s house is shut. Kyzer is on his own.

For Kyzer and many of the more than 25,000 other foster youth in the United States who “age out” of the system every year, there is no family and no support network to pick you up when you fall. Within two years of emancipation, half of Los Angeles County’s foster youth will be unemployed, one fifth will be homeless and a quarter will have been to prison, according the Children’s Law Center. Similar fates can be expected across the country for many of the 500,000 children who call the state their parents.

But a law signed by President Bush in the waning days of his administration could radically change the futures of these children. The Fostering Connections to Success and Increasing Adoptions Act of 2008 offers states matching federal funds to extend care to age 21 for all foster youth who choose to stay in the system after their 18th birthday. What’s meant by “care” would vary state by state, but could include extending Medicaid coverage to age 21 (which about 20 states now do), providing housing vouchers or access to group homes, vocational training, educational funding and psychological counseling services.

“We have known for a long time that kids don’t suddenly become self-sufficient at the age of 18,” says the federal bill’s sponsor, Rep. Jim McDermott of Washington state. “The law we passed last year finally recognized the need to better provide the building blocks of success to these children.”

Research released Monday suggests that the approach makes financial sense for a government weighed down by the costs of incarceration, welfare, Medicaid and homelessness incurred by former foster youth who struggle after emancipation. Conducted by the University of Washington School of Social Work, the study finds that caring for young adults until age 21 will represent a return of $2.40 on every government dollar spent in California.

Experts hope the report will lead more states to implement the federal law. But adding anything to a state budget right now is a hard sell. Thus far only seven states have put forward such legislation, including California. And before the passage of the federal legislation, only two states had implemented comprehensive extended care for foster kids after age 18—Illinois and Vermont.

The study’s leading researcher, Mark Courtney, director of Partners for Our Children, a public-private collaboration promoting child-welfare reform at the University of Washington, sees the federal legislation as the most radical shift in child-welfare policy in the last decade. “The government has been unwilling to help kids after 18 beyond teaching them independent-living skills,” he says. “That is not what parents do. A parent is not happy to kick a kid out at 18 and say good luck.”

Courtney’s earlier work has shown significant long-term benefits for kids who get a few more year’s care versus those who are pushed out of the system at 18. His hallmark “Midwest Study,” published in 2005, was instrumental in shaping the current federal legislation. That report followed 732 foster youth through their 17th, 18th and 21st birthdays. It found that along with lower rates of incarceration, homelessness and unemployment, young people in a state like Illinois, which extends care until 21, were 3.5 times as likely to have completed a year of college than peers in states like Iowa and Wisconsin, which routinely cut care at 18. (Census data show that less than 3 percent of foster kids earn college degrees, compared with 28 percent of the population as a whole.)

“The minute we kick them out they start looking for their families,” says Karen Bass, speaker of the California Assembly and coauthor of The California Fostering Connections to Success Act. The legislation plans to increase spending to $70 million in California for youths age 18 to 21, largely through the newly available federal funds. “When they can’t find their families, they make families of their own on Hollywood Boulevard. In L.A., they are couch surfing; you have groups of young people living together and it is homelessness, just a different form.” Bass and coauthor Jim Beall say that despite the budget wrangle and deficits that California faces, the bill bears the name of 26 Assembly members, has wide cross-aisle support and will likely pass.

In this latest study of foster care, Courtney narrowed his focus on higher education. As he had already shown, young people in extended care were better equipped to pursue a higher level of education and thus vastly increased their lifetime earning potential. For an expenditure of $37,948 over the course of extended care, Courtney concludes that those foster youth will earn $92,000 more in their working life. “We are talking about spending $38,000 over one to three years versus what it costs to incarcerate somebody for 20 to 30 years,” says Bass. In California, the Department of Corrections anticipates the annual cost of incarceration will jump to $53,000 in fiscal year 2009-10.

But these undeniable statistics are running headlong into the cold reality of a national financial crisis. “Here is the most significant piece of [foster-care] legislation in a decade and it may be slowed down by these economic times,” says Kathi Crowe, executive director of the Foster Care Coalition. “It’s almost too bad it is optional.” Nonetheless, Courtney believes that the evidence he has presented along with the National Youth in Transition Database, which will be implemented nationwide as of October 2010 and will track young people as they mature into adulthood, will force states to act. “At that point some states may be shamed into changing their laws if the outcomes of their former foster youth look much worse than the outcomes for youth in states that have extended care to 21.”

But for Kyzer and the kids currently “copping a squat” on the streets, it may be too late. “I just wasn’t ready,” Kyzer says of being a father, holding a job and moving into his own place. Tonight he is couch surfing, but tomorrow, his only option may be an abando.

Sabotoged By the System

Sabotaged By the System
By Jesse Ellison | NEWSWEEK
Published Feb 7, 2009
From the magazine issue dated Feb 16, 2009

 

When Tyrome Sams turned 18 two years ago, he engaged in a modern rite of passage: he applied for a credit card. Credit wasn’t hard to come by then, yet Sams was refused again and again. Eventually he requested a credit report—and that’s when he found out that when he was a 12-year-old in foster care, someone had opened utility accounts in his name, amassing hundreds of dollars of debt. “Anybody could have gotten hold of my information,” says Sams, a tall, thick-shouldered Californian whose youth is betrayed only by a voice that still cracks on occasion. “I’m 20 now and I’m still trying to fix the problem.”

Sams’s case isn’t just an unfortunate fluke. Identity theft among foster kids is common, and for good reason: they’re easy targets. They move often among various homes and schools, so their personal data pass through dozens of hands. According to the Identity Theft Resource Center in San Diego, half of the 84,000 kids in California’s system may have been victimized. The problem got so bad that in 2006, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger signed a law requiring credit checks for kids in state care when they turn 16. But it had no enforcement mechanism, and overburdened case workers had more urgent concerns than credit. An October 2008 study from Javelin Strategy and Research found that one in 20 children overall have been the victims of identity theft, averaging $12,000 in wrongly assigned debt. “We were stunned by the results,” says Bo Holland, CEO of Debix Credit Protection, which commissioned the study. Most foster kids discover the fraud only after they “age out” of the system. By then, according to another Javelin study, it typically costs more than $1,000 and 150 hours to clear up the problem. And that’s if you know what you’re doing. These kids don’t. “The onus is on the victim to clear their name,” says Tiffany Johnson, associate director of the California Youth Connection, but “when you emancipate from foster care, you have no legal representation. These people don’t have the resources to fight. They’re basically screwed.”

Not every case of juvenile ID theft is intentionally illicit. In low-income families, a parent with bad credit might put a heating bill in a child’s name, not anticipating the snowballing debt that could accumulate. With the economy in free fall, the problem is sure to get worse. “It’s an issue, but you’re dealing with so much other stuff,” says Nancy Crawford of Hardin, Mo., who has adopted kids from foster care, one of whom had been a victim of ID theft. “Cleaning up their credit is something you can do later.”

That’s what Sams is now trying to do, without much success. He’s enrolled at Pasadena City College and works as an intern at the Los Angeles Board of Supervisors, but he still can’t rent an apartment or put bills in his own name. “It’s really preventing me from getting started with my adult life,” he says. Last year an identity-theft standards panel suggested a simple solution: a federal database where lenders can cross-check Social Security numbers against registered birthdates. It’s a good idea, but for people like Sams, who’ve already had their lives turned upside down, it’s too little, too late.